After trying out a few different things I think I found exactly what I was looking for, Forensic Science! Psychology wasn’t really my thing nor was Criminology but everything about a Bachelor of Forensic Science majoring in Chemistry is perfect! I’ve found that I am actually reading my textbook and completing assessments right away as opposed to everything else where I left everything to the last second, now I just need to do a further four or five units before applying for both Griffith and QUT so I can move to Brisbane and do my whole independent thing. Sort of debating throwing in a few physics units as electives in the future too but would probably have to ask a few people I know doing physics degrees before committing as I was only really just ok at physics in high school and I don’t want to screw up by failing things. However whether I stick purely to chemistry or do a little bits of physics as well I’m ready to kick ass at uni for a change :)
On Saturday I made a decision to work around my psoriasis and begin working on bleaching my hair so I can have partly purple hair for a wedding I’m going to in july, it didn’t turn out all that badly as per usual I had no issue with my hair snapping or anything like that. Blonde is definitely a missed colour after I went back to brown about 4 & 1/2 months ago and left it like that until now.
I was always a little unsure on whether I looked good with blonde hair but now I’m 90% sure that its the colour that suits me best! So yay for it being back, lets see how long this lasts haha.
Have you ever missed someone so much that even just them thinking about them makes you cry? Thats 100% what I’ve been feeling since Wednesday. I took Sam to the airport early Wednesday morning so we could go to Europe and I already wish he’d come back, its weird I’ve never felt like this about anyone before, I’ve never cared about where they are or what they are doing but everything is different now, it feels almost like someone has cut me in half and shipped one half 16,000km away. I know this all sounds ridiculous and probably a little selfish but don’t get me wrong, in a way I am glad he has gone to do things he wants to do and stuff.
I just keep trying to look at the positives, I got to spend four days with him before he went which is more than enough time to tickle someone so much it makes up for not being able to do it for three weeks. Strangely enough there is also many positives to how we said goodbye in the airport, things that happened for the first time, things I’ll probably be killed for talking about haha. I really just need to find a way to only think about the positives and not the fact he is in another country, another time zone & that its going to stay that way for the next nineteen days. Loving someone is weird…
Also slightly sneaky FaceTime screenshot to the right from when he called while in Dubai, sorry Sam! I couldn’t help it, your face is just too cute ;D
Oops I haven’t posted in a month due to being a lazy shit, sorry! anyway life update! about to finish another unit for criminology and enrol in a new one for forensic science, thinking about moving over to purely forensic science but I’m not 100% sure, too many decisions and confusing things.
About three weeks ago I bought something from Black Milk for the first time, super shiny matte blacks, they are so comfy! then Sam turned me into a complete Black Milk fiend by buying me Mint Fairy Paints, Zombie Nations & New York Skyelines now I spend half my life being part of discussions in various Black Milk groups on Facebook and looking at Black Milk I want, oops!
I finally got to properly meet Sam’s mum without falling asleep on the floor this time, which was good, I was like super terrified but turns out I’m not as shitty with people as I thought I am which is great! and of course it was nice to spend time with Sam again. Hopefully the next few weeks will be as good, getting two dresses from asos in the mail, hopefully seeing Sam, Sam & I being together for 1 & 1/2 years on 20th May & finally finishing this unit.
My positivity has dropped a lot the last two weeks, I gave up on the whole 100 happy days thing and I’ve just stopped caring again. I went and spent a week with Sam and that was good, it helped me be happier while I was there but since I have come home I’ve felt myself go back to how I was previously, I really don’t know what is going on anymore. I just want to be happy but its like theres something that stopping me.
I need to find something that makes me as happy as Sam does because I can’t rely on him being around all the time to make things better, especially when he is going to Europe in a few months and he wont be there to make all my problems go away, I now just need to figure out what I’m interested in, well other than serial killers and crime because while I enjoy them a lot they aren’t overly positive topics and they eventually get to you. I was interested in photography years ago and I found looking at planes the other day interesting so I could maybe try doing both of those at once sometime or maybe I could try reading stuff other than crime related stuff, I don’t know.
This is the hardest part about not being good at having friends, I don’t really leave the house a lot so I have a lot of time to think and worry about everything, but I need to change that and be positive again because things will eventually get better even if it doesn’t look like it now.
My parents left to pack up my grandparents house on Friday night so I have been responsible for my own cooking since Saturday as I’m home alone. Sam & I went out to the next Mexican restaurant in Lismore, Black Sombrero on Saturday night, we shared nachos & chorizo as well as having a jalapeño popper each, was great food even if the poppers were chillies stuffed with some form of filling made entirely by satan himself, I actually ate about 1/3 of it all at once just to finish it off and be able to say I made it through a jalapeño popper, instead I found myself in tears because my mouth, tongue and throat were on fire! however it was a cute date with one of my favourite people involving one of my favourite things.
I cooked my first meal tonight since my parents left, usually I stick to the only things I know, two minute noodles, butter chicken, spaghetti bolognese or toast, instead I decided to try something new and made teriyaki beef with noodles and vegetables(pictured above). I marinated the meat for about an hour in the store bought teriyaki sauce, made a microwave bag of steamed vegetables and followed the instructions on the noodle packet. After cooking the beef a little I took it out of the pan to rest before cutting, while waiting for that I tossed the vegetables through the left over sauce in the pan just to get the flavour all over. Honestly I am amazed with how it came out, I never thought I could make anything that tasted that good and I will definitely be cooking this or something similar in the future.
After a bit of boredom I did some googling and found a really interesting recipe for apple chips, which can be found here, they turned out great and I look forward to eating them as snacks over the next few days. Will most likely attempt these avocado & tuna sushi sandwiches sometime tomorrow & eventually will try baked zucchini fritters. I also received some interesting star fruits from my brother’s girlfriend today so I’m wondering how I will use them. Hopefully I’ll be able to improve the skills necessary to survive on my own over the next few days!
So as many of you would know I’m trying to make my life more positive, happy and meaningful in various ways as I live out my last six months as a teenager so I can at least say that the first nineteen years of my life meant something. Well in doing that & following some positive blogs, Instagram accounts and a few Facebook pages I have come across this one specific hashtag that I was a bit curious about #100happydays, now for those of you who don’t know what that means its sort of like one of those thirty day photo challenges except its not about mass amounts of selfies, being better than other people or showing off stuff, its one photo a day for one hundred days that are of things that make you happy. The minute I saw the challenge I said to myself, yep I have to do this, I need to show myself what really makes me happy & hopefully I will come out of this happier, more positive and hell maybe it will even lead to me being less of a socially awkward weirdo.
As of today, I will be posting one photo a day to Instagram with the hashtag #100happydays, I won’t post them to my WordPress blog as it will just cause a big confusion, spam and mess of my page in general but I will leave links below to other social media sites that it will be visible on. I really encourage every single one of you to sign up for this challenge at 100happydays.com just to see how you go, it may end up having an incredible impact on your day to day life!
posts can be found at the following: