Made a decision last night to start doing OOTD posts, I was mostly inspired by blogs and instagram accounts like faeingold & alyssamitra as well as a buttload of posts on lookbook.nu. I don’t have a tripod so sort of just need to work with photos on my MacBook Pro & iPhone, hoping for a little help from the boyfriend who has good camera skills and a tripod. Really needed to start somewhere though and thought basics were a good start, nothing overly exciting for my first post but just trying to get the hang of things before making any cool posts with my black milk thats in the mail ;)
T-shirt: Mens Navy T-shirt; Kmart
Leggings: Matte Black Leggings; Black Milk
Scarf: Present from boyfriend
So today while in Officeworks looking for a new printer, I noticed the aisle with Wacom tablets and my mum decided to buy one for me because I’d been helping around the house! I was so excited, got home set it up and I’ve been doing crappy drawings all night. Thinking of maybe doing some form of graphic design tafe course in my free time now to get my skills up as I really enjoy it. Also saw an instant film camera for $89 & suggested mum buys me that as part of my birthday present in september so hopefully I’m looking forward to that & my pebble watch.
Anyways, back to drawing weird looking things!
After trying out a few different things I think I found exactly what I was looking for, Forensic Science! Psychology wasn’t really my thing nor was Criminology but everything about a Bachelor of Forensic Science majoring in Chemistry is perfect! I’ve found that I am actually reading my textbook and completing assessments right away as opposed to everything else where I left everything to the last second, now I just need to do a further four or five units before applying for both Griffith and QUT so I can move to Brisbane and do my whole independent thing. Sort of debating throwing in a few physics units as electives in the future too but would probably have to ask a few people I know doing physics degrees before committing as I was only really just ok at physics in high school and I don’t want to screw up by failing things. However whether I stick purely to chemistry or do a little bits of physics as well I’m ready to kick ass at uni for a change :)
On Saturday I made a decision to work around my psoriasis and begin working on bleaching my hair so I can have partly purple hair for a wedding I’m going to in july, it didn’t turn out all that badly as per usual I had no issue with my hair snapping or anything like that. Blonde is definitely a missed colour after I went back to brown about 4 & 1/2 months ago and left it like that until now.
I was always a little unsure on whether I looked good with blonde hair but now I’m 90% sure that its the colour that suits me best! So yay for it being back, lets see how long this lasts haha.
Have you ever missed someone so much that even just them thinking about them makes you cry? Thats 100% what I’ve been feeling since Wednesday. I took Sam to the airport early Wednesday morning so we could go to Europe and I already wish he’d come back, its weird I’ve never felt like this about anyone before, I’ve never cared about where they are or what they are doing but everything is different now, it feels almost like someone has cut me in half and shipped one half 16,000km away. I know this all sounds ridiculous and probably a little selfish but don’t get me wrong, in a way I am glad he has gone to do things he wants to do and stuff.
I just keep trying to look at the positives, I got to spend four days with him before he went which is more than enough time to tickle someone so much it makes up for not being able to do it for three weeks. Strangely enough there is also many positives to how we said goodbye in the airport, things that happened for the first time, things I’ll probably be killed for talking about haha. I really just need to find a way to only think about the positives and not the fact he is in another country, another time zone & that its going to stay that way for the next nineteen days. Loving someone is weird…
Also slightly sneaky FaceTime screenshot to the right from when he called while in Dubai, sorry Sam! I couldn’t help it, your face is just too cute ;D
Oops I haven’t posted in a month due to being a lazy shit, sorry! anyway life update! about to finish another unit for criminology and enrol in a new one for forensic science, thinking about moving over to purely forensic science but I’m not 100% sure, too many decisions and confusing things.
About three weeks ago I bought something from Black Milk for the first time, super shiny matte blacks, they are so comfy! then Sam turned me into a complete Black Milk fiend by buying me Mint Fairy Paints, Zombie Nations & New York Skyelines now I spend half my life being part of discussions in various Black Milk groups on Facebook and looking at Black Milk I want, oops!
I finally got to properly meet Sam’s mum without falling asleep on the floor this time, which was good, I was like super terrified but turns out I’m not as shitty with people as I thought I am which is great! and of course it was nice to spend time with Sam again. Hopefully the next few weeks will be as good, getting two dresses from asos in the mail, hopefully seeing Sam, Sam & I being together for 1 & 1/2 years on 20th May & finally finishing this unit.
My positivity has dropped a lot the last two weeks, I gave up on the whole 100 happy days thing and I’ve just stopped caring again. I went and spent a week with Sam and that was good, it helped me be happier while I was there but since I have come home I’ve felt myself go back to how I was previously, I really don’t know what is going on anymore. I just want to be happy but its like theres something that stopping me.
I need to find something that makes me as happy as Sam does because I can’t rely on him being around all the time to make things better, especially when he is going to Europe in a few months and he wont be there to make all my problems go away, I now just need to figure out what I’m interested in, well other than serial killers and crime because while I enjoy them a lot they aren’t overly positive topics and they eventually get to you. I was interested in photography years ago and I found looking at planes the other day interesting so I could maybe try doing both of those at once sometime or maybe I could try reading stuff other than crime related stuff, I don’t know.
This is the hardest part about not being good at having friends, I don’t really leave the house a lot so I have a lot of time to think and worry about everything, but I need to change that and be positive again because things will eventually get better even if it doesn’t look like it now.